December started out with Kneaders (or Kender's as Brynlee calls it) and Zoo Lights with the Lawrence fam, compliments of Mimi and Papa. Ty by the black panther lights, Brynlee by her favorite red panda lights. It was a school night so we didn't stay long. It's quite the drive from Herriman to downtown. I'm not a huge fan of it.
Next is Luminaria. Annual tradition. We added a few to the tradition this year. Heidi and Bruce Cosseboom came. They're Tisha and Marks friends from AZ. It was funny to watch Ty and Bruce talk about sports. There aren't many people in our families that he can just chat sports with so I enjoyed eavesdropping as I walked behind them with Heidi. Her and I giggled about it. Brynlee's feet were hurting her so, like the nice mom that I am, I gave her a piggy back ride for quite a while of the walk. The workout was good for me. The gnomes I got a picture with were made out of Mike and Ikes!!! How cool is that?
Another tradition. Ty hates it but this time he came up with some fun ideas for his gingerbread house and I think that, although he would never admit to it, he enjoyed it this year.
Grandma and Grandpa Brown have needed help since they moved in to get some things settled. So we spent an evening there to help them with some internet stuff and get them set up to order stuff through the Costco app. While Ty and Grandpa were working, Brynlee, Grandma and I went through her cabinets with all her fun memorabilia. They've been lots of places and have a story to tell for each knicknack and piece. She told us about her doll and when I asked what her name was she told me she didn't have one. This doll has been with her since she was a little girl and Grandma's mom even made Grandma and the doll matching dresses for Grandma's High School graduation. We thought she needed a name. So she named her Millie. I guess that's what Grandpa used to call Grandma anyways so it was perfect.
This picture of Christ is probably one of my favorites and it fits perfectly on my nightstand. It radiates peace, love, kindness and just a tender sweetness that warms my heart.
Favorite things party with some of my favorite people. We had such a good time. High Fitness has brought some awesome people in to my life and I'm so grateful for them. I had never been invited to a Favorite Things party so I had no idea what to expect. Apparently I don't know how to read instructions because I brought 3 different things that represented favorite things of mine; a cute gnome decoration, Tiger's Curse book and copy of the picture of Christ that's on my nightstand. I was only supposed to bring 3 of the same thing. Oops! Oh well. It was fine. Jeannette had a little get to know you type game and we ate yummy Cafe Rio. Girls nights are so important and I loved hanging out with these ladies!
My Brynlee Babe. Just chilling. In the mornings, before school, she sits by the heater and does her daily reading. Every morning I pretty much have to remind her to put her blanket, book and flashlight away too. Meeting with the Bishop to graduate in to YW's. How is this happening? I'm so excited for her but just think she is so little that this can't be possible. Yet here we are. For Light the World, one of the days activities was to decorate someones door and tell them nice things. Paige Norton, Brynlee's piano teacher, arranged it with me to deliver these cute notes and I put them on her door for her. Brynlee said she was going to keep them up for a long time. It really made her day and it's becoming more and more apparent to me that it truly does take a village to raise a kid. Could I do it on my own? Sure. My child would be a lot less well rounded and other people can teach her things I cannot so I am grateful for our village.
Woke up in the morning, I think it was the 15th, checked the news and found an article about the Utah State government and PUA. Basically, some people that received payments from the Pandemic Unemployment Assistance program shouldn't have received some of that money and they'd be 'hunting' people down to make them pay it back. About 30 min later I checked my email and saw this message. I'm not exaggerating when I say I had a small panic attack and didn't know how I was going to make it through the next hour without completely unraveling. Honestly, we didn't get that much from the PUA payout program but it was still substantial enough that it would seriously hurt. It took me a bit to pick myself up, open the laptop and get started re-certifying every single weekly claim I filed. Ugh. I had to answer more questions for each weekly claim and then once I was done, I closed the laptop, had a small prayer in my heart and just tried to forget about it. There wasn't anything else I could do about it and if I heard anything it probably wouldn't be for several weeks so the show must go on. Eventually I got to a point, after sitting down and really scrutinizing our finances, that I realized everything would be ok if we had to pay it all back. It would be rough but we could do it and be relatively unscathed.
December 17th. Mom texted everyone late that night to let us know Grandma Cookie wasn't doing well. She had a heart attack of sorts and hadn't come back completely from it. We were told we could all come see her and probably need to say goodbye. Wow. That was hard. She wasn't very coherent but I know she knew we were all there. All of us sibs showed up at one point or another. I rubbed her feet and legs lightly and told her I loved her. Gave my love to Grandpa and left. There were a good amount of people there that needed time with her too and I had work in the morning. It was snowing and I needed to get home. I got in bed around 1:00am. Grandma passed away around 7:30am on the 18th. Mom found her. It's strange and difficult to imagine the next time I see her, I will have died as well. Let me reiterate, I will need to pass away to see my Grandma again. So strange. Hard to grasp. I miss her laugh already. The 18th was a long day of work. I was tired and emotional but kept my crap together pretty well. Mourning her loss was very different than any other person I've ever lost. I've never lost one of my own grandparents. She had lived a good long life so it wasn't sad necessarily but it was at the same time. When someone young passes away, it's much different because you mourn the life they won't ever get to live, the memories they won't ever get to make. But Grandma was old. I'm happy she didn't have to suffer anymore. I'm happy her memory didn't have a chance to weaken so much that she forgot her children and her spouse. That was the direction she was headed. Grandpa, as much as I'm sure he misses her, doesn't have to watch his sweetheart continue to change and turn in to someone he doesn't know, someone who doesn't know him. Sad, but she didn't want to live past 80 and she was 81. She didn't know it though, sometimes in her mind she was still 79.
For our Lawrence adult Christmas party I made brownies and only put nuts on half of them in Grandma's honor. It made me cry, like so hard that I couldn't speak. Grandpa was there at the party and I was so happy he was there to see my small tribute to Grandma Cookie. The brownies were terrible, hers were much better but I guess it's the thought that counts.
The party was fun. White elephant gifts, lots of food and fun. It's nice to not have to worry about the kids and just be with the adults sometimes. Not sure Grandpa knew what he was getting himself in to when he agreed to come to the party lol. He went home fairly early. It had only been a day since Grandma's passing and I'm sure he was exhausted.
Christmas Sunday. We still did outfits and I'm so grateful for my little family and I think Ty's beard is so handsome. He doesn't but I do. Brynlee wore my black glittery Tom's. How is she big enough to fit in my shoes (even if it's just barely)? Soon will be the days where she steals my clothes and shoes, etc.
Christmas class at Project Dance before and after, with all the funky Christmas headbands I got for my white elephant gift from Alina.
Ward/Neighborhood Christmas drive through party. We manned a stop in our circle. We gave out mini Christmas trees, had music playing and gathered food for a food bank. Christmas in Color with the Lawrence crew. Brynlee and Mc didn't want to smile nice for the camera. Christmas break fun with Kam.
Grandma Cookie's funeral. We are going to miss her so much. We heard lots of stories about her and the life she lived. I shared memories of making home popped popcorn with grandma and shaking the bag while she poured butter on it and telling me to shake the bag even harder. It wasn't hard to see her kids were a mess over her passing. I was happy to help with the music even though the kids had to sing a'capella and I was so proud of Brynlee for coming up and playing a couple notes on the piano to get us all started on the song we sang as a group because my music wasn't working for those two songs. Brynlee asked Mimi if she could play a song on the piano at the funeral too. It was all her idea and she played Families can be Together Forever flawlessly. Seriously, so proud of her. Grandma didn't want to be buried in the ground because Jesus wasn't. The sky was clear and beautiful, however, it was freezing outside. They gave out cookies to remember her and we all got to sign her casket. I didn't get a picture of Brynlee's and she can't remember what she wrote. Grandma is the closest person to me to pass away and it was sad but I know I'll see her again. It gives me peace knowing she has her memory back and isn't struggling anymore. Love you Grandma Cookie! See you later!
*~* Christmas Eve *~*
Kicked off with Santa and his elf doing High Fitness! Kelli joined us and we love her!
Christmas Eve was spent with the Thomas Fam this year. Doing games, gingerbread houses and white elephant gifts with the adults. Drew got the boob towel I gave. I got a puzzle with one piece missing. Ty got a finger light saber fighting book. Jammies were tie dye and Grogu inspired with a comfy sweatshirt. Playing Christmas songs with Maga on the piano.
Traditional dance party by the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve before bed. Brynlee loves this tradition and insists on it now. Ty even joined us for a bit which was the icing on the cake for sure. It's so sweet and fun! Sweaty too. Helps get out some of the Christmas Eve energy too.
*~* Christmas Day *~*
Brynlee opened the best present first and she didn't even realize it. I printed out the sheet music to Waterfall. So excited for her to start playing it. She's already started tinkering around with it. She got her own straightener so she can stop using mine. Red Panda squish mallow quickly named Fuzzy Wuzzy and Ramona (since one name isn't enough). Beard grooming kit for Ty, Blenders for me. We all got RSL shirts too.
No breakfast at Grandma and Grandpa Browns this year since they moved and because... COVID. It was kinda really nice not to have to rush out of the house and relax.
Maga gave Brynlee 3D Harry Potter puzzles and they were hard to put together. Brynlee gave up so I did it. HA! At Mimi and Papa's to finish out the day. Mom gifted a girls trip to the adult girls to go to Waco, TX in March. Alina cried, Jade didn't even know what it was haha. Ty had Meagan make me and Brynlee quilts for our gifts and then she secretly made him one too. We all love our blankets so much.
*~* Christmas Break *~*
Working on the 3D Harry Potter puzzles. Took forever! So many teeny little pieces. Kingston and Enzo even helped for part of it when they came to hang out that week.
For Christmas we redid Brynlee's bathroom. Lots of work and trying new things. Like framing the mirror, new floor, replacing a toilet, board and batten. We removed the toilet and forgot to disconnect the water line so we busted it. Oops! Live and you learn. That set us back cause we had to replace the whole valve. We didn't finish it until January though so it'll be done in the next book.
Traditional sleepover at Maga's. Making cookies, coloring canvas pictures, matching jammies and not sleeping because you can only pack so many children in one room without someone waking some up.
Ty cooking a turkey he got from his work. Never done that before. It's so gross but it tasted good.
Random shenanigans. Toby or Grogu? The ears lasted all of two seconds, he hated them. Brynlee doing dishes is basically the most ridiculous thing ever. We've failed at parenting apparently.
New Year's Eve was spent at Maga's this year where we did the drawing and just hung out and ate yummy food. Love this crew of mine. So glad they're mine and I get to keep them forever.
This month Ty interviewed for his bosses job since he left. He knew he wouldn't get it but it was definitely something he needed to do to try and get more experience. Brynlee had a giant gap in her teeth from her braces which is exactly what we wanted to have but you could seriously stick two quarters in that gap. I got released from YW's three weeks before Brynlee was going to be in YW's and I was sad I couldn't be in there for at least a week with her. Oh well, maybe that means I'll be in YW's when she's older. Who knows...
This year was extremely odd. It's hard to even put in to words. Life completely changed for us indefinitely. The year started fine but when Spring hit life as we knew it ended and will forever be changed. Summer we spent camping and doing all the things. Fall was back to school with masks and a weird schedule, no class on Friday's unless you were invited. Winter we were still wearing masks and the holidays were much more intimate. We did a lot of walks with just the 3 of us, watched lots of movies, had a lot more meals together (not just dinner), changed the look of our home fairly drastically and became a closer family by doing Come Follow Me and home church together. We lost Alex Ruegner and Grandma Cookie, neither of them to COVID. No one in my family got COVID and practically everyone in Ty's family did. We evaded it too. We did some hard things: ex my work situation was hard, finances were hard, Brynlee not seeing friends was hard, being the only one wearing masks was hard, trying to balance political beliefs and the ever changing climate around that was really hard for our little family this year. But we made it. It's not over, I know that. But I feel like we can do this, together.
I love us. So much.
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