Injections and more injections.
But really I should be grateful because I didn't have to do as many as other people.
Appointments and more appointments.
Blood draws, an ultrasound, changing dosages, trying to keep all the meds straight.
All the hormones made me feel very unlike myself.
My estrogen levels responded really well though, yippee!
They found 9 follicles. Good number.
Later in the month I added another shot, ugh. 3 shots a night was no fun at all, but I did it.
We showed Brynlee what I had to do. She asked me if it would hurt then she covered her eyes and said, "I can't watch" and then she watched anyways, by choice.
We thought it would help her understand what we're doing and to involve her in the process.
The shots that night actually bled and bruised.
Finally we had an appointment that wasn't for me. Ty had to have a physical and it was his turn to be poked and prodded at.
We were sent home with another shot that day, the trigger shot. I only had to do 2 shots that night though so I was happy. The trigger shot did not feel good at all and it made me break out into a rash at the injection site.
Brynlee came with me to do my bloodwork the next day. I think she enjoyed coming with me. I sure enjoyed having her there. She's my little buddy.
Wednesday May 27th - Egg and semen retrieval day.
I wasn't as nervous for the procedure this time. In fact I was actually excited to be able to get some sleep. Doc told me my ovaries were each about the size of a grapefruit so I was excited for that to go away so I could wear normal pants too.
Once I was in the OR they stuck me with a needle for anesthesia and before I was out Dr. Blauer came in and said, "Lets go get some eggs!" I replied with, "Let's do it!" and I was gone.
Waking up from anesthesia is just plain weird. Apparently, and I have no recollection of this, I woke up and took a drink then asked the nurse if I could go back to sleep. So I did. Then I do remember some lady asking me if I wanted to go home and I said, "I just want to sleep."
We left, picked Brynlee up from Maga's and once we got home I went upstairs to sleep but before I could drift off Brynlee said, " Wait! We should say a prayer!" So she said a prayer for me and I wish I could remember what she said but something like bless mommy that she can feel better.
For the next couple days I felt like I had a side ache in the bottom of my gut plus I was exhausted and still didn't feel like myself.
Here's the results of the procedure and the ensuing days.
Day 1: They retrieved 8 eggs, 7 of which fertilized.
The 7 embryos were left alone to grow to day 5 at which point they are called Blastocytes and should be at 32 cells.
Day 3: All embryos growing normally and all were rated with Goods or Fairs which is very normal.
June 1st - Day 5 for our little embryos: The clinic froze 3 embryos. They wanted to give the other 4 another day to see if they would reach 32 cells. They didn't. That was hard news. Probably a bit more difficult because I was coming off the hormones and my body was trying to normalize itself.
To be real and upfront, I tanked. Ty was really worried about me. I was worried about me. Think postpartum. I felt hopeless and helpless, that life was not going to be good to us and all of this was for naught, nothing would come of it. It was a rough couple of days.
Wednesday June 3rd - another rough day. I had a hard phone call. Never have I ever wanted anyone to feel obligated to be our Surrogate. It broke my heart that this special soul felt this way. I was lucky enough to be driving up Big Cottonwood for work that morning and left early enough I had some time to stop and take a breather to get some fresh air, get in touch with Mother Nature and God's creations. I took a moment to be alone but to pray my heart out and let it all go.
It helped a lot. Wouldn't it help you too if you could stare at this?
So we have 3!
3 is a good number.
Not much room for error though. But it's ok.
I know that now. It will all be ok. We're doing our part. Working hard.
Even if the outcome isn't what we hope and pray for, we will have no regrets.
But really I should be grateful because I didn't have to do as many as other people.
Appointments and more appointments.
Blood draws, an ultrasound, changing dosages, trying to keep all the meds straight.
All the hormones made me feel very unlike myself.
My estrogen levels responded really well though, yippee!
They found 9 follicles. Good number.
Later in the month I added another shot, ugh. 3 shots a night was no fun at all, but I did it.
We showed Brynlee what I had to do. She asked me if it would hurt then she covered her eyes and said, "I can't watch" and then she watched anyways, by choice.
We thought it would help her understand what we're doing and to involve her in the process.
The shots that night actually bled and bruised.
Finally we had an appointment that wasn't for me. Ty had to have a physical and it was his turn to be poked and prodded at.
We were sent home with another shot that day, the trigger shot. I only had to do 2 shots that night though so I was happy. The trigger shot did not feel good at all and it made me break out into a rash at the injection site.
Brynlee came with me to do my bloodwork the next day. I think she enjoyed coming with me. I sure enjoyed having her there. She's my little buddy.
Wednesday May 27th - Egg and semen retrieval day.
I wasn't as nervous for the procedure this time. In fact I was actually excited to be able to get some sleep. Doc told me my ovaries were each about the size of a grapefruit so I was excited for that to go away so I could wear normal pants too.
Once I was in the OR they stuck me with a needle for anesthesia and before I was out Dr. Blauer came in and said, "Lets go get some eggs!" I replied with, "Let's do it!" and I was gone.
Waking up from anesthesia is just plain weird. Apparently, and I have no recollection of this, I woke up and took a drink then asked the nurse if I could go back to sleep. So I did. Then I do remember some lady asking me if I wanted to go home and I said, "I just want to sleep."
We left, picked Brynlee up from Maga's and once we got home I went upstairs to sleep but before I could drift off Brynlee said, " Wait! We should say a prayer!" So she said a prayer for me and I wish I could remember what she said but something like bless mommy that she can feel better.
For the next couple days I felt like I had a side ache in the bottom of my gut plus I was exhausted and still didn't feel like myself.
Here's the results of the procedure and the ensuing days.
Day 1: They retrieved 8 eggs, 7 of which fertilized.
The 7 embryos were left alone to grow to day 5 at which point they are called Blastocytes and should be at 32 cells.
Day 3: All embryos growing normally and all were rated with Goods or Fairs which is very normal.
June 1st - Day 5 for our little embryos: The clinic froze 3 embryos. They wanted to give the other 4 another day to see if they would reach 32 cells. They didn't. That was hard news. Probably a bit more difficult because I was coming off the hormones and my body was trying to normalize itself.
To be real and upfront, I tanked. Ty was really worried about me. I was worried about me. Think postpartum. I felt hopeless and helpless, that life was not going to be good to us and all of this was for naught, nothing would come of it. It was a rough couple of days.
Wednesday June 3rd - another rough day. I had a hard phone call. Never have I ever wanted anyone to feel obligated to be our Surrogate. It broke my heart that this special soul felt this way. I was lucky enough to be driving up Big Cottonwood for work that morning and left early enough I had some time to stop and take a breather to get some fresh air, get in touch with Mother Nature and God's creations. I took a moment to be alone but to pray my heart out and let it all go.
It helped a lot. Wouldn't it help you too if you could stare at this?
So we have 3!
3 is a good number.
Not much room for error though. But it's ok.
I know that now. It will all be ok. We're doing our part. Working hard.
Even if the outcome isn't what we hope and pray for, we will have no regrets.
My recovery buddy.
Our embryos.
Not everyone gets to see what their babies look like 3-5 days after conception.
Pretty neat, in a slightly weird way.
I love them.
This picture gives me hope and courage.
Hope that things will get better, that life will be ok and courage to face what's coming our way.
It's an uphill battle from here.
IVF is done. Our families know.
What an experience.
Now, how to find our angel surrogate?
1 comment:
What a hard journey to go through. I hope things go well and you are able to find a surrogate soon.
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